With all of this going on, he starts to make some damaging decisions that are painful to watch. Uncomfortable is not even a strong enough word. He counts things and is incredibly uncomfortable with odd numbers. Griffin isn’t only facing grief, but throughout all of the chapters, both past and present, he is dealing with an increasing anxiety about his compulsions. It highlights how much of a loss Griffin is dealing with too. This balances out the heartache of the other chapters to a certain degree. Their friendship and romance are not always without pain, but at least in the beginning, those history chapters offer humor, love and hope. Silvera made the choice to alternate chapters between the present and the history of Griffin and Theo’s relationship.
Fortunately, we don’t stay there mired in grief though.
Readers meet Griffin in the midst of grief. This is definitely an emotionally packed novel and had my heart breaking right along with Griffin’s. He is good at making tears roll down my face (see my review of More Happy Than Not for evidence). If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. Summary: When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Review Copy: Digital ARC via Netgalley & purchased final copy
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